Understanding Your Love Language: How to Fortify Your Relationship
- Post author:Nicole
- Post published:August 12, 2021
- Post category:Couples / Mental Health
Just picture sharing such a deep and emotional connection that — even after decades together — your heart still skips a beat whenever you get together. Those who understand their love language, as well as their partners, have the opportunity to experience this more fluently. Envision a standard of living with someone that thrills you to the point that they are the one you explore at parties as they walk across the space.
How are you able to deepen your relationship to such an infatuated level? One of the critical keys to developing and maintaining such a relationship is that the language of affection. What is this language and what are optimal ways to master it? Simply speaking, it is loving communication.
Love languages pertains to a variety of factors besides verbal communication. It also includes how you speak, effective listening, visual perception, and being attentive to your partner’s needs and desires.
It comes not only from within, but also from a conscious desire to begin living an infatuated and joyful life together.
Whether you have just found one another, or you want to re-kindle the hearth in your current relationship, the language of affection can enable you to experience the happiness you’ve always desired.
This guide gives you tips and techniques which will start you on the road to a deeper, more loving relationship. Practice them each day. Once you have grasped these ideas, your new outlook will never fail to bring you new ways to enjoy your love.
Trust
Trust is one among the foremost important characteristics of a loving relationship. When you and your partner can trust one another, it paves the way for effective communication. On the opposite hand, without trust, your partner may not believe anything you say, and your good efforts could also be disregarded. So do everything you will to determine and maintain trust in each other!
Consider the following:
1. Tell the truth. Communication is far simpler once you tell the entire truth. Even if your partner does not like what you said or disagrees with you, it is easier to affect your differences when you are being honest. Honesty builds your partner’s trust and respect more than any other quality. You can be great in every other quality, but that will not compensate for dishonesty in your relationship!
2. Remember to always deliver on what you say you are going to do. Loving communication means a lot more than just saying what your partner wants to listen to. Your partner must be available to trust you to try and do what you say. If you cannot do something they want you to do, then work out a compromise that both of you are happy with. This way, you will be able to tell the reality about what you are going to try and do and so you will achieve it. No one has got to nag, you build more trust, and everyone is happy!
Effective Listening
When it involves communication, listening is simply as important as speaking and this is often very true along with your partner. When you make a concerted effort to let your spouse know that what they are saying is vital to you, it makes them feel important and loved.
Effective listening also prevents misunderstandings that may result in arguments. It is much easier to assume what your loved one is discussing without actively listening, so you may tend to tune them out and miss what they may be trying to communicate.
Another biggie during this day and time is merely partially listening while you surf the web or watch TV. In doing this, you will miss something crucial in what they are saying! Later, when something surprises you, your partner says, “But I told you already. We discussed this!”
Use these strategies to create effective listening a part of your love language:
1. Give them your full attention. Turn off your tablet or laptop, put down your book, turn down the TV — do whatever is important to point out them that they need your complete attention. Then check out them while they speak.
2. Use appropriate body language. As your partner speaks, show them you are listening by nodding or smiling at appropriate times. These decisions may alert you that you are being attentive and thinking about what they are saying.
3. Let them finish. Avoid interrupting before they have finished their thought.
4. Be sure to vocalize what you have heard to ensure you are processing it correctly. When you are having a discussion, or a disagreement, allow them to know you understand their complete meaning by rephrasing what they have said.
5. Ask questions. If you do not understand something, ask questions rather than assume their meaning.
Once you start taking note of what your partner has to say, you may be surprised at what you hear. Once your partner knows that you simply listen and take whatever they are saying to heart, they will likely be at liberty to open up to you and discuss things with deeper meaning.
Sharing your deepest thoughts brings a closeness you will never feel if being attentive to your partner is not a priority!
Share Your Hopes and Dreams
Now that you are listening and talking on a deeper level, you will get to understand your partner better begin planning toward the future chapters of your life once you share your hopes and dreams. Discuss them in detail.
- What have you always wanted to do?
- Where have you always wanted to go? Why?
- What’s your dream job?
- What type of car does one really want?
- Do you have a family yet? Do you want children?
- What beliefs are most important to you? Why?
As you start to ponder what your hopes and dreams as a couple, begin planning how you will make them happen. You will now have some exciting things to figure toward together! These are things you have wanted your whole life, and now the both of you will be able to bring these dreams to fruition.
When You Disagree (And You Will!)
There will inevitably be times when you disagree. This is human nature. No matter how close your relationship is, you are still two different people. However, being able to disagree on something is valuable and productive for a relationship and does not always need to be taken to another level to be able to communicate effectively in a disagreement. This is the moment where understanding what you love language is can make situations smoother until it is second nature to disagree amicably.
Follow these strategies to use loving communication when you disagree:
1. Remember your love for each other. Even if you feel anger at the situation or at something your lover has done (or did not do), keep in mind that this person is the most important person in your life. You may still feel anger about your partner’s actions, but it still does not change the love you have for them.
2. Refrain from name-calling. This can only cause more negative feelings and never solves the matter.
3. Focus on the current issue. Avoid saying things like, “You always…” Discuss the present situation and leave past issues out of it.
4. Use effective listening skills. These skills, discussed in a previous section, are most important when you are having a disagreement. Even though you are disagreeing about something, effectively taking note of one another prevents misunderstandings and shows your love.
5. Share your feelings. Communicate with your loved one and let them know your feelings so they can understand why you may be feeling upset. Whatever it was, clarify it. Avoid if they know exactly how you are feeling.
6. Apologize if something is your fault. Take responsibility for your actions and mistakes and say you are sorry. Offer a way to make up for it.
7. Find a solution. If you cannot agree on a problem, search for some way to compromise. Be creative. Compromising does not always mean someone has to give up something.
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Just because your partner does something differently than you does not mean that they are wrong. Develop patience and pick your battles.
When you disagree, the most important thing is not that you “win,” but that the issue is solved so that you both are satisfied with the outcome. That way nobody goes away angry or holds grudges.
Show Your Love
There are many ways to speak your emotions your partner and creativity keeps it fresh. Get in the habit of showing your love many times each day. The wonderful thing about this is that the more you show love, the more you receive.
As you each become more attuned to your partner’s needs and desires, and fulfill them, you will find your passion increasing as well!
Here are some ideas to stoke your fire:
1. Show gratitude. When your partner does something nice for you, allow them to know you appreciate it. One of the essential desires of attribute is that we would like to feel that we are appreciated. Simply saying “Thank you,” goes an extended way towards fulfilling this need. You’ll be able to also express your gratitude in various forms. Doing something nice back to reciprocate is usually a fun thanks to show your gratitude.
2. Do one of your partner’s chores. Especially when your partner feels tied down with work or having a tricky time, show them you care by helping them out. They will really appreciate your efforts.
3. Turn mundane tasks into fun. Even everyday tasks can provide a chance to point out your love for every other and produce some fun into your relationship. As an example, make dinner together and have an enjoyable time with it. Feed each other tastes of the food you are making. Have a food fight. Decorate a cake together — the more icing you get on one another, the better. Need to clean the garage? Join in as a team and separate out tasks while working together as one. By doing this, together, will be able to take the “chore” out of it. Need to water the grass? Have a water fight!
4. Surprise them. Leave loving notes and gifts where they will least expect it. You will brighten their day when they find it, even if you are not there to see it.
5. Look your best; feel your best. Try to exercise, eat right, and improve your physical shape. You and your partner will enjoy better health and greater energy. Also, dress up for your partner from time to time. It lets them know that they are worth the effort.
6. Take time for yourself, too. Taking time for yourself reinvigorates you and renews your energy for a lively life. Go to a spa, meditate, or simply read a decent book — whatever relaxes you. Treat yourself well and it will be easier to meet your partner’s needs, too.
7. Pray together. Bring your spiritual side into your relationship. It strengthens your love language and provides you a solid foundation for more loving communication.
Laugh Together
Laughing together is a vital portion of the language of our affection. When you laugh together, you are relaxed, having fun, and enjoying each other. You are making good memories that you both can cherish.
When you have fun with each other, you always look forward to being together. It draws you together when you are apart.
Laughter also helps lighten the mood when you or your partner feels stressed. It gives you a chance to take a step back and bring clarity to your thinking in disagreements. Plus, it is impossible to feel anger when you are laughing. You can feel love, though!
Share funny movies, books, and jokes together. Just have fun with the humorous side of life. If your partner gets a kick out of your celebrity impressions, then do it!
Having your own inside jokes together also lets you share a secret bond when you are in public. When someone says or does something that reminds you both of your funny joke, your eyes meet to acknowledge it and you share a secret laugh. It is one more thing that makes you in tune with each other.
So be sure to bring laughter into your relationship and your everyday life together. It strengthens the bonds of love and your loving communication.
Be Available for Each Other
Being available for your partner communicates to them how much you love them. Make the effort in setting up some devoted couple time together. It keeps that spark alive, just like when you were first dating.
Although date nights are fun, you do not always have to spend money to spend time together. Having a romantic evening at home can be perfect.
Try new things or take turns picking out new activities to do together.
You can vary the activities you share to keep things fresh and exciting. You could go to the beach, the park, or the museum. Fly a kite or go bicycling. Play a sport together or pursue a fun hobby. Take a weekend vacation. Whatever it is, enjoy life together!
It does not matter what you do, if you’re enjoying each other’s company.
Start a savings fund for a special trip to somewhere you have always wanted to go together, like Hawaii or on a cruise. Planning a vacation to a tropical paradise is exciting and lets you look forward with anticipation to these good times. Every time you put money in that fund, you are sending a message of love to your partner.
Briefly, the love language is all about sending loving messages to your partner in both your words and deeds. Using your love language effectively and consistently establishes a mindset of love for your partner.
When your partner reciprocates, it makes a never-ending cycle of love and increases the passion in both of you. Your wants and needs are being fulfilled, and you find a joy in each other and in your life that you never knew existed!
Use these tips and techniques to get you started with the language of love. As you become fluent, the sky is the limit. Enjoy! If you may be having trouble finding your way through establishing and understanding your love language, speak with a counselor or therapist who is expertly trained in relationship and couples counseling to help you navigate your journey.
TAGS: COUPLES, LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE, LOVE LANGUAGES, MARRIAGE
